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The Forest Bees

We all know that when your travelling in foreign lands you come across some weird and amusing stuff; badly translated signs, inappropriately named products, etc. But this is the most creepy, wrong, sick thing I’ve seen in a good while.

At first it’s looks like a fairly standard nonsensical pack of kids gummy bear style sweets, (good bike fuel, eh).

Unassuming Jelibon Pack

Unassuming Jelibon Pack

But look closer and you start to realise that this is in-fact the twisted brain wrong of a one off man mental.

The Device

The Fuck is that?

So the ‘boy’ seems to be carrying some sick ‘device’; seemingly to simultaneously capture/torture/molest the unfortunate gummy bears. Why boy, why!?

Then you see why…

 

Forest Bees

The Motherfucking Forest Bees

With their smug self satisfied smiles and insidious sickly voices – these sodding bees must be manipulating the boy to do their bidding…

Forest Bees Up Close

"Say boy, won't you use the device, hmmm? Gather the bears for your friends, the Forest Bees. We, the Forest Bees demand their succulence."

The Boy

"..."

Forest Bees Again

"Boy, you look weary, why don't you lie down upon the soft moss in the glade of sorrows? We, your friends, the Forest Bees, wish you to be fresh"

The Boy

"..."

Forest Bees Yet Again

"Oh, say you will not enter the glade of forbidden smiles, boy. We, your exquisite friends, the Forest Bees, demand it."

The Boys Eyes

"..."

Forest Bees Eyes

"..."

Sick.

7 comments to The Forest Bees

  • Darryl

    Love the creative genius/mentalness of this article.
    it’s good to see a touring site that doesn’t take itself too serious,but still has informative reviews and atricles. I’m starting my own world tour in a couple of weeks and was wondering is warped humour a result of months on the road or was it always there?

  • Phil

    Cheers, Darryl – I felt the world really needed to know about the Forest Bees… and if you ask the missus she’d say the warpedness has always been there, although it can’t be denied that being on the bike for 6/7 hours a day does something to the mind.

    Fantastic you’re starting your tour! What’s the route… you got a site?

  • Darryl

    Hi, my route (in part) is similar to your own. I will be starting from Cheshire in the northwest of England, heading south, going through France, possibly northern Spain, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Iran (if i get a visa), Turkmen, Uzbek, Kyrgy and China.

    Did you make any arrangements for your Iranian visas before you left or did you do it while on the road?
    I don’t have a site, but i’m not against the idea. Thanks for the Bee warning, i will be watching out for teh fuzzy buzzy bastards!

    D.

  • Phil

    Route sounds good – when are you planning to hit Turkey? Won’t it be a little chilly… we’re in the East, (Erzurum at the moment) and once you get above 1000m it’s dam nippy.

    Anyhow – funny you should ask about the Iranian visa, we just picked ours up here. Didn’t make arrangements before we set off, we used iranianvisa.com to get our authorisation code, (mixed reports about them on the net, but we didn’t have any problems) takes about 2-3 weeks to get the code then you just have to go to one of the embassies to get the visa. I’d recommend getting it somewhere you don’t mind waiting around for a few days, (like Istanbul) because the one day service is bloody expensive, (€225), the 5 (working) days service isn’t a hell of a lot cheaper at €160 but i’ve heard it’s quicker, (and the process a bit less painful) at Trabzon. Hope that helps.

  • Darryl

    I estimate i’ll be somewhere in Turkey in december, maybe during Christmas….Very apt! Leaving to do a tour at this time of year it is inevitable that i’m gonna hit cold weather so hopefully preparatios are enough to see me through.

    Thanks for the visa info, it is very helpful….Much appreciated!

    I’ve heard great things about Iran and the iranian people, hope you enjoy it. I look forward to the review.

  • dude, lay off the hooch. just for a bit.

    o.

  • Phil

    No problem there, Rapson – In Iran at the moment… dry as a bone.

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